Finding home is not enough.
We forget. We need help.
“Be with people who help your being.”
-Rumi
-Rumi
We are surrounded by people. Most of us. People we work with, people at our kids’ school, people in our town, people in our social circle. People in our book club, our gym, our volunteer group, our family. But these may or may not be our tribe.
Often, for many people, they are not. They are necessary. They serve an important role in your life, you in theirs maybe, but they are not handpicked. It’s as if you were given an FTD arrangement of friends loaded with carnations. Maybe you like carnations: maybe not. Or a big fancy designer arrangement with flowers you don’t even know the names of. Could be heart-warming, could be austere.
A tribe is composed of the people you pick by hand, by heart, by soul, by choice. Perhaps a handful of daisies and a few pink peonies. They are the people that make you excited and relaxed, people you feel safe and inspired to wander through life’s jungle of thoughts and feelings together.
Often, for many people, they are not. They are necessary. They serve an important role in your life, you in theirs maybe, but they are not handpicked. It’s as if you were given an FTD arrangement of friends loaded with carnations. Maybe you like carnations: maybe not. Or a big fancy designer arrangement with flowers you don’t even know the names of. Could be heart-warming, could be austere.
A tribe is composed of the people you pick by hand, by heart, by soul, by choice. Perhaps a handful of daisies and a few pink peonies. They are the people that make you excited and relaxed, people you feel safe and inspired to wander through life’s jungle of thoughts and feelings together.
There are three aspects to tribe. The ‘tri’ consists of you, the other person and the magical creation of a third energy, formed by being together but greater than the sum of both beings.
Some people make your throat tighten, your body stiffen and your mind run spreadsheets on how you can escape. They are obviously not tribe folk.
Other people you interact with it’s more like watching a casual tennis match. You each bring your racquets. You hit. They hit. You hit back. You rally without creating anything additional. It is an interactive parallel existence. Not tribe-worthy.
Then there are people, where you each bring a thousand logs, hundreds of sticks and matches. And you build a conversational fire that blazes beyond what you could ever imagine, sending sparks in every direction. Something big. Really big that would have been impossible to build alone. These people are our tribe.
People are in our lives for all kinds of reasons. Some form a posy, group or gang that we hang out with more as a matter of proximity or situation than choice. Some are complete strangers we picked up along the way that somehow felt more familiar than family.
Other people you interact with it’s more like watching a casual tennis match. You each bring your racquets. You hit. They hit. You hit back. You rally without creating anything additional. It is an interactive parallel existence. Not tribe-worthy.
Then there are people, where you each bring a thousand logs, hundreds of sticks and matches. And you build a conversational fire that blazes beyond what you could ever imagine, sending sparks in every direction. Something big. Really big that would have been impossible to build alone. These people are our tribe.
People are in our lives for all kinds of reasons. Some form a posy, group or gang that we hang out with more as a matter of proximity or situation than choice. Some are complete strangers we picked up along the way that somehow felt more familiar than family.
Tribe people are a rare and special breed. If they feed your spirit, if they make you feel like you are on a great and magical chariot, like your particular freak flag is uniquely spectacular—if they make you feel at home inside yourself, they are your tribe.
